Deep post for the month.....

Saturday was a very productive day for me. I had to buy a new battery for my car (which brought me back to 'fix my car thursday' blog) and get the inspection taken care of. I wish i had the boyfriend to take care of all this car crap for me .... i mean...yay women's rights!! i can do it myself. lol. =)

So after that I went running for 3 miles which turned into 6 miles. I'll blog another day about that whole incident.

Then...finally the point to this blog...I went to church. If i do go, its saturday afternoons....when you don't have to dress up and the crowd is small. lol. Enjoy my reasoning?
The church I grew up with is right there on Westheimer and the Beltway, I'm sure you guys have seen this sign there...every week is a different quote. I happened to like this one =)

See, the cool thing about my church is that they grew with the times. They are not naive to the fact of what is going on in the world as far as sex, money, and drugs. A little strange for a Catholic Church right? I mean the freakin sermon is on a powerpoint presentation (u know I would have taken a picture inside but i couldn't bring myself to do so lol). This is why I enjoy going to this particular Catholic Church.

I'm very open about religion. I mean i took my first communion, even did my confirmation into the Catholic religion. Yet I see the pro's and cons of my religion and even in other religions as well yet I refuse to pass judgement on someone just because we are not on the same page. That's just me.

The funny thing is...since I rarely go to church (although i have many conversations with God in my head) the times that I do go to church...I feel the messages are directed towards me. Never fails, its crazy. So I wanted to share what I heard this Saturday because it has to do with alot of my close friends and their situations as well.

The topic was of course Love. Yess! I was thinking just like you are "oh god, not this crap." hahahha Here's the thing though.... I always say the first 3 months is when the guy does everything he cans and then after that is the "fall off" stage. Well, according to my pastor its more like the first 3 years are the "testing" years. I really would not have paid any attention if he hadn't said "Our whole reason of being and living is to look for love. That is it. and you can turn on the TV and see this for yourself. All the shows are somehow based on finding that right person or looking at other people's relationships. AND if you are not looking for love you have done either 1 of 2 things: 1. Decided to live a lonely life. You have just given up. OR 2. Do everything you can whether it be working yourself to death, drinking (when i tuned in LOL), or sexing away." (yes he said sexing) Ok so did I grab your attention like he grabbed mine?

Let me see if I can deliver this speech as well as he did. Love - combination of three things: Attraction, Desire, and Goodwill. If you notice...most people always say "I fell in love"...what is "fell"...past of the verb "To fall" isn't it? And when has that been a good thing "to fall"???? Its as if your are apologetic!! No one says "I jump in love with you" or "i'm running in love with you" in fact what most people mean is actually very selfish "I love you being in love with me." Lets go back to what love is made up of again : Attraction, Desire, and Goodwill. If you notice, the first two are very selfish characteristics. If you think about it though... u are infatuated with someone because you are attracted to them and you desire to be with them. Its kind of like pool when you make the break. Do the balls know where they are going? No. It's a reaction to a collision. Make Sense?

Ok so is there any hope? Is there any hope for those of us who have been out there and say we are looking for love in all the wrong places...and we carry these bumps, scratches and bruises with us..... yah there is if we start looking at real love differently. What are we leaving out u ask? Goodwill. If you believe in a higher being, then you believe you are put here for a purpose..correct? So if you are put here for a purpose... so is the next guy/girl. right? Ok so follow me on this definition of Love: Love is a decision to unite yourself with God (your supreme being) in caring for another person no matter how you feel. That means...whatever that person feels is their mission in life, you have to care enough to see their missions through because God acts through them. We are all students of life....or disciples if you want to use that term, we are being taught how to love. To me, hell is filled with Spiritual Monsters....these are people who rejected what God wanted for them. This is why there are people called "Saints".... Saints are those who "finished" what God wanted them to do. This may be more geared towards Catholic terminology and for the record, true love in Catholocism is when Jesus said on that cross "Father forgive them for they do not know what they do." He didn't say "to hell with them" although he could have right?

So what do you think? I feel I was a little bit enlightened. I mean I dunno about you ...I've always held the attraction/desire aspects pretty high. Maybe what I thought was goodwill in caring was more of a "desire" to have them "desire" me and not so much about why they were making decisions for their life that were not on the same page as what I wanted. So yah... i'm feel I have a better perspective about the whole topic now. Its a nice feeling and I hope u got something out of reading this otherwise that sux. lolz.