On to Bigger and Better Moments...

letting go..

thank you for all the phone calls, texts, prayers, support....

my "mija" passed at 6:22pm today, December 23, 2007. Her viewing will be the day after Christmas and then it is her wish to be cremated.Dad saying last goodbye
on
December 26, 2007

A Silent Night

I know exactly the picture I want to put up for this blog, I just need to go and take it. It's not a picture of my grandmother who i call "mija" and who this blog will be referencing. It's actually the family's last name of BECERRA which was written in the cement driveway when it was still wet at my Mija's house many years ago.**
**added
My grandmother's name:

Guadalupe Rodriguez who married Ernest Becerra (who passed when i was in middle school)

8 children all alive and well, plenty of grandchildren, plenty of great-grandchildren

76 years old

The reason for this blog:

my grandmother is in a hospice now, just admitted yesterday, and she is dying from colon cancer.

The irony of it all :

One being this is the season of life and happiness, new beginnings. Two being that I call her "Mija" while the rest of my family calls her "abuela" ... mine means "little girl"...the other means "grandma". The reason for this is when i was younger she always said Mija to me and i thought that was her name. Three being that the last time the family all came together was during my younger years at Christmas time because of my grandma. It probably stopped right when i hit middle school. Fourth being the cycle of life and how your parents always took care of you and how you end up taking care of them later.

The Now:

just reflection and memories. My creativity comes from my Grandma and my dad without doubt. I remember her stories about her life, her raising 8 children as almost a single mother because remember back then the husband just worked, came home to eat and not be disturbed and go to sleep. Also her struggles of having to learn english, and just struggles in general that none of us really go through because we have pretty much the good life now right? She has been living a blessed life, 76 years, she has done what she has wanted to do and she is ready to move on, she has told me this. So you tend to be accepting of the fact yet of course it hurts because changes will be made and you will miss your loved one. That point bothers me, yet what gets me more.. is my dad. It's his mom. imagine... years and years and your very fortunate to have your mom around soo long and by your side. He's crying. and i dont know what to say or do. He's the oldest, that is her first born. and you see that connection and its beautiful yet its too painful to watch as events unfold. You deal with one situation on a day to day basis to where it becomes normal and you forget that person still has memories and feelings and can still relate to what's going on. (in reference to my dad) and then here comes a factor in life which we all know has to happen yet you are just never ready for it. Im not sure u really can be ready for it.

The Hospice:

It's the Houston Hospice on Holcombe. Extremely peaceful, friendly environment with caring staff. I've had experience since I use to volunteer for a Hospice in Waco. A Hospice is a facility that provides special care for those nearing the end of their life and their family. It can either be at home or in an actual facility.

Solution:

I'm not really sure. Faith, prayer is more for the individual... i suppose i'm looking for more strength or to be the one who takes the rain for both my father and I. i dont know why i feel like i have to protect his feelings. maybe i should just see how he handles the situation over the next couple of days. same goes for all my uncles and aunts...

The View

Just remembering my trip to Thailand... out of all the places i've visited, by far its my most cultural trip. I happen to be sitting in a Starbucks (yes there is one there) while it was raining outside and took this picture. I remember I was reading the DaVinci Code at the time since the plane ride was extremely long. In the middle of backpacking, i just took a coffee break and picked up where i left off in the book. Best times.

quiet time

one of those days... feelin pretty down...

i wouldn't call it emo, people aren't happy 24-7 unless they are lying to themselves.
i miss a couple of people and i miss holiday gatherings with family.

High Definition?? No High Dynamic!

hmm so what do you think? i've taken an interest in photography and this is a technique called HDR. If you click on the link on the right to Sen's blog, you can see how impressive this technique can make your pictures. The idea is to get the photo as realistic or surreal as you would like. This is the picture I took when I walked out of work yesterday evening. I took two pictures, one at really low exposure and one at medium exposure... then I did an HDR merge in Photoshop CS2 then had to play around with the tonal range....as i converted the image to 16 bit ... lolz... geek.... well i dunno, i dont think its bad for my first try. Hell, that's what the sky looked like thus why i took the pic!!! I want to get an SLR digital camera .... but getting gifts for me has always been on my low priority list ... i dunno maybe... we'll see....

On a more colorful tone but not HDR...

After my 3 mile run around Rice University yesterday.. i decided to go for a little walk. Pretty safe over there lol and actually when I ran last Thursday I saw Christmas Carolers... awww i mean for me not being all "holiday" this year, that had me for a good 10 minutes. lol. so walk, walk, walk, taking pics and here is one of the places I took a picture of. felt like that light bug in "A Bug's Life"... attracted to the lights. Although I could have been labeled a peeping Tom or Stalker taking pictures of people's property. Yah i'm down with O.P.P. and what? tsk..tsk..tsk... well i'm tired from all this excitement that I create for myself lolz.... night nightz...

KFC or Pizza Hut? McDonalds!!

 

You can rarely travel these days without finding a McDonalds somewhere in that country's main city. The chain has made its impression internationally and isn't just America's food chain anymore. I honestly first noticed this on my trip to Bangkok. This is Ronald greeting you outside the door. Now the cool thing I've noticed is that there will be one menu item which is different from the "normal" meals McDonalds serve. 

Lol!! Samurai Pork Burger!!! awww yeah, didn't think you could go to an Asian Country without becoming a lethal warrior???? Which by the way everytime i take a picture of the menu, i always get yelled at by the employee who works there. I mean really, is minimum wage worth all the hassle of dealing with me the relentless tourist?? 

McDonalds in Bangkok... 

This is the menu in Hawaii. They have local breakfast Platters people...platters. I want that breakfast here!!!

Lolz! Good old Spam, egg, and rice!!!! 

This is the menu in Korea.... totally stolen from a friends album, hey though its contributing nicely to this blog. Check out their one item: The MEGAMAC!! lolz... too cool...

I never did understand why I would even eat McDonald's when there was ethnic food all over the place.... well that was until I went to London and their food totally was bland and horrible unless u decided to fine wine and dine which could make you broke as a joke. It was at that moment I was like "oh hell no. keep your damn sandwich, I'm getting a burger." In all honesty, you can only take so much of fish and chips.

So yah... if you travel and catch a McDonalds menu, take a pic, I'll add it to this blog. I'm sure I could go online and find some more but its more meaningful if I actually know someone who was witness to a menu remix. 

Pretty Boy vs. Hitman

U know, just to play devil's advocate....  i hope Hatton wins. No doubt Mayweather is the favorable, hell he is the bigger fighter, 72 inch reach and his plus minus rating of plus-30 .. he has a record of 38-0 ... yeaah he's pretty much bagged it. Here's my two jabs...tsk tsk... see the thing about Mayweather that i noticed, especially more since the DelaHoya fight...is that he slows the tempo down to the point where it frustrates his opponent. He comes in lands punches and dances back. Ricky Hatton has noticed this and in order for Hatton to win this one, he needs to pull of what Castillo couldn't pull off when he fought Mayweather. He needs to hold Mayweather against the ropes and just have at it. Hatton has quick punches and he is faster on his feet than Mayweather and in order to get those score cards, thats the approach he should take. Easier said than done though because like I said, Mayweather tends to dominate the tempo.... how shocking would that be though... get beat by some dude from Manchester england...not just beat, but taken down in your hometown of Las Vegas and your whole infamous claim of being the best fighter since Ali and undefeatable..... i'd love to see that. I really lost all respect for Mayweather when he came out with the Mexican flag during the DeLa Hoya fight AND had 50 cent by his side. Can you be any more immature and commercial???!! Mayweather is too damn flashy, talks to much trash.... i mean i know its boxing, i just can't stand the guy who is not humble. You fight fights around the world and you want to be top of the world, pro, but you can't act like one???? I hope Hatton shuts him da fu** up.

Anyways, fight on at 8 tonight!!

Watch this clip to see what i mean:

Training Series Before fight on HBO

Aww man...

ON December 04, 2007 Pimp C, real name Chad Butler -- and one half of the rap duo UGK, was found dead in a hotel room this morning in Los Angeles. L.A. County Fire responded to a 911 call at the Mondrian Hotel, located on trendy Sunset Strip in Hollywood. They arrived to his sixth floor hotel room to find him dead in bed. He was 33.

http://www.tmz.com/2007/12/04/rapper-pimp-c-found-dead-in-hollywood-hotel-room/

Wow.. seems one by one Hip Hop is losing our lonestar boyz.... just last week Big Moe passed... and its kind of weird cuz actually my gym is not to far from Screwed up Records and Tapes on Cullen so i'm always reminded of the local flavor when i head to that side of town. I love southside music, dirty dirty and screwed up... and u know what, i'm probably one of the most cultured people you know and I can tell you that every place I have gone to around the country, I have ALWAYS heard downsouth Texas music being played in the club. Can u imagine?? U might be shocked, but hell even when i was in Bangkok, small little club in the middle of no where.... jammin to Geto boys....i mean forget Southside music...straight Houston... insane!! and yet it never fails... i hear it world-wide...

And for the record, UGK is the first time i heard the term gold digger. It wasn't Kanye's remix of Ray Charles "I got a Woman" that introduced me to the word... it was UGK. Remember? "Front and Back and Side to Siiiiiide.... never let broke gold diggers riiiiide" hahahahha i would jam that song... all in my '89 geo spectrum hahahhahah cuz gold diggers soo wanted to ride in there... lolz! whatever. Yah....awesome memories... UGK, Bone, Cypress, Wu-Tang... i loved to jam those hard back in the day.... my whole collection of cd's were stolen so i havent been able to much lately but with the crew we tend to go back to old skool jamz on the weekend. Of course after all the "make it rain" "drop it like its hot" and "superman" club songs hahahhaha

This sux though... of course UGK will always live on, yet u just gotta feel bad for Bun B. Not worried about him bein a solo artist though, he's always wanted on everyone's tracks and he does it own his own as well. Crazy cuz Alex was just on their CD cover too... actually UGK was the last of three cd's i bought.... it was UGK, Bone, and Paul Wall.

RIP PIMP C

Ur Off Beat!!

hhahhahah yesssssss! Cool friends with cool toys!! ok the first time i played Guitar Hero it was at Zubair's apartment. He said I did really well cuz it took him a long time to unlock songs (or he could have just been really nice to me lolz but whatever) .... so what's next??? Da Drums!!!! also known as Rockband on the Xbox. coooooooooooool!! I had so much fun just banging away at those things! Joseph, Jacob, Rochelle and I formed our own rock bands. I had to do the whole hand-eye coordination, plus the whole color simon says memory type thing, plus not drop the sticks,  plus the total headbanger head movement.... all beautifully compiled to form the perfect rock-ette.... yours truly! Right on!!! hehehhee ( u liiiike it) Ok so the key to the game... it helps to know the song. i think i only knew two songs on that game.. the Nirvana song and the Radiohead song. Everything else.. total failure.... and playing with the guitarist as your partner who thinks he is beyond the easy level.... total failure again!! 

Abdullah and Aman would love this game, they use to play the percussion in band. what nerds. hahahha whatever i use to play a "wind" instrument. ok but i never went to band camp. 

yups so i give this game 5 stars, on a star scale of 1 to 5... 5 being mega fun concert mode.... u should try it....

Of course all this playtime was after watching the final show of Heroes! The suspense!! Yah i hope the writers come off of that strike soon... no way they can leave us hanging just like that, I'll not have it i tell ya!

Oh and i cooked brisket and queso for them, they loved it... as far as i know i passed Joseph's taste test. good thing he has a rice cooker. i dont assume just because your Japanese and rice is a staple food in your diet that you totally have a rice cooker. Lucky him, he did lol so he made the rice. yum yum yum and just in time for hero, no DVR for the finale!!

so i hope we all get to chill again even though our Monday Heroes is over... i'm sure it will be for rockband practice!!!

Sing the Blues while I make the piano cry...

"When its Blues Music..if you're a human being, you get it." 

man, i love it, absolutely love it.... let me just say that John Mayer really impresses me with his ability to cross many genres with his music. This post isn't about him though, its about the soul music.. that blues music. I remember when I went to LA about three months ago, Raja was auditioning for an acting gig and you are not suppose to bring guests to auditions. well.. u know me, i can always find something to keep me busy, so i told him i was gonna walk down the street and look around. I just so happened to find a bar.... all alcoholic jokes aside, i really was just trying to find a spot to chill at. I don't remember the name of the place off hand... all i know is I sat on a stool that was near the entrance yet looking out of the window of the outdoor patio. Since i was by myself, on a Friday, ordering beer ... I probably looked really sad or depressed or lonely cuz I kept having several people coming up to me asking if I was feeling alright. hahhaha it wasn't that at all though... it was the music... the second I had sat down, i heard the piano playing... not live...it was a CD.... Ray Charles... yet there is something about the very first couple of notes that start off a blues song.... you have your major key (which are known as the 'happy' keys) and then you have your minor keys ('sad' keys) .... blues songs will lay those minor keys down real hard in the beginning and of course throughout the song. I heard it too and the blues with a beer... awesome awesome combination... because you think hear the blues yet until you KNOW where its coming from, when you can feel the song not just from the voice but from the keys, the guitar... indescribable feeling. I'm not sure if its because i grew up playing the piano and having an appreciation for music, but i get into some kind of trance. You could be talking to me and if i hear any kind of jam or song I like, most likely I will zone u out in that second. Lolz... many of u know this because I've done it to you... whether i started dancing or been like "oh man, that's the jam right there"...music just does that to me. I have to say I love acoustic and I love acapella music the best. Its that "feel good" music, those songs you have to sing along to.. i imagine that's why many people love to karaoke even if they cannot sing. Abdullah and I love to play Hotel California by the Eagles.... i heard that the best in Hawaii, on the beach sitting with my Corona inside a restaurant with that sea breeze flowing through, hearing the waves and not a worry on my mind. This is what makes me happy.

I love playing the blues on the piano, i will make those keys cry... if you ever get a chance to get me near one, i'll be more than happy to make you feel da blues... lolz...

Ruminating

just kind of been pondering and taking a second to reflect on a consistent thought .... there still is a tender spot which does not want to heal .. i have already given the effort to make this said situation be if anything a pragmatic relationship. i honestly feel a real loss where two people were familiar with the other's qualms in every aspect. The feeling which i'm at loss to explain is why i would even take the time to step backwards.... how contrary from my whole moving on with time. I just feel a great loss and it really hurts and i can't think of any word that would capture the feeling except just sad. I'll do things to keep busy... at the end of day though, i'm not sleeping right and i'm honestly not happy nor do I care to start anything else. Its more of a being stuck, not knowing what to say or do and only hoping its the same on the other end. what can i do if its not, i just don't truly care to accept that fact and i'd rather go thru this than to just know its finished. i miss the laughs, the fun, the being real part. i miss min.

** took me awhile to post this just cuz i was scared.. yet u know what.. its ok to be scared sometimes. its my blog anyways. lolz.

12/04/08

Chill Weekend

Took a picture of the last dozen of roses sent to me about 5 months ago. Finally found some use for them... to practice my coloring in photoshop. lolz. was that mean to say? Flowers are not my thing..i honestly dislike them. Well, roses at least. it seems everytime I get them its because the guy screwed up and it is suppose to make everything better. yah keep on thinking that. lol... i do like to dry them out though, they look better than they did alive. wow, sounds so gothic. 

Hope your weekend was nice! Friday went to Bijan Persian Grill for Omaer's birthday then chilled with Dullah and Aman till about 1 in da morning. Saturday I went to melting pot on a nice date (u know im not mentioning names anymore) and had that delicious Ying Yang Drink... luv that stuff... then yesterday hanged out with the crew and played some Poker then dance the night away! Pretty chill weekend....